Monday, 30 January 2012


I'll bet they all group wank down there,
in parliament - spurting on the face
of one another. A mouth full of junk,
dirty marks on the desk
- really creaming upon one

Come on chaps, you can do it!

Tuesday, 24 January 2012


jesus christ supermarket
chicken in the cheese fridge
dirty grey sky following me inside
chasing me down the aisle (trying
to marry my ass - marry it with the
great phallus of the mundane)
i have to get out of here.
i have to go.
these people are crazy, tomato soup eyes,
candy floss thighs
- this,
is what it's come to
and so i run
screaming "CUNT!" at anyone
who'll listen.

Friday, 20 January 2012


A sweet sweet insatiable appetite for life
on sunny morns such as these
(nature is a pretty flower and phallus both penetrating and receiving - making the morning radiate with joy).
and i ride the happy bus, little old ladies propped up in their seats,
dirty memories of a fuck in a field.

Friday, 6 January 2012

Where Hath Thine Mustache Gone?

where hath thy mustache gone?
a brittle affirmation of masculinity twas it,
keeper of warmth above thine lips and
defender of all whom bask in it's
glorious bushy-ness.

a commandment from thine wife,
fairest of all womanly kind,
was sent forth and had
thine mustache smote
from thine countenance!

Oh mustache,
twas thine most trusted of furry protrudings,
loyal friend?
companion when none could be found?
Brother he was and shall ever be!

yet no quarter was given.
felled by a deadly coalition of soft foam
white as the snow from the highest of peaks of the North,
the sharpest of five blades
heated under waters so hot as to slice with ease
and a mirror.
A mirror of darkest horrors.
small yet magnified so as to let the victim
watch every terrible detail of its own

thus, thine mustache was returned to
The Great Lands
where he could be free;
The Land of The Lost Hairs of The Face.

Oh great shall the rejoicing be
whensts I have drawn mine last breath,
be it in battle or on thine death bed,
and thine mustache is returned to thine
everlasting countenance.