Saturday, 24 January 2015


I took a sweet toke
as my mind reclined
and intuitively knew;
"it's been too long."

I lifted the arm
dropped the needle
on the track
and sat back.

A camera winked at me
poems tickled my ears
and paint trickled out
from under my fingertips.

The faint smell of recognition
grew stronger;
I know this place,
this is home.


Big Jim slid down
into the comfy chair;
"Big Jim I am", he began
before astral projecting
to another dimension.
His cold, lifeless body
lay limp and prone
in the big easy chair
as the
children tugged at
his hair
as they
pulled at his toes
as they
stole all the coins
from his deep greasy pockets.
Meanwhile Big Jim
slid down
into the comfy chair;
" Big Jim I am", he began
before astral projecting
to another dimension
- just another chump,
stuck in an infinite
boot loop.
"Big Jim is a cunt",
the children all cried.
They weren't half wrong
they weren't half right
- it was confirmed by
the universe as
Big Jim the cunt
went howling through
the cosmic night.

Friday, 23 January 2015


"What's that smell?" they asked
"Not sure" he answered
Christmas smelt of shite this year
It was coming from the corner
He told the children that Rudolph must've done it
That Santa was caught short without a poo bag
He blamed the children
"Too many carrots" he said
"You piled them high"
"What did you expect?" he asked
The children were unprepared for such a question


Old Mags sneezed
she sneezed a "fuck you"
a giant "fuck you"
straight into my Cajun chicken roll.

Monday, 19 January 2015


my soul in a microwave
spinning round and round.
Hey neily, neily boy old pal
- whatcha doin spinning round
and round
to the horrible sound
of your soul cooking
at 750 watts?
I'm just fooling around, see,
playing with my essence
sprawlled bubbling
on a glass plate.

Saturday, 17 January 2015


Singing sensation! Cease this non cessation!
Dip it in chocolate
nip it and hop it
hop hop
run run
run bitch run
walkin down a
long and lonesome
chewing up the words
as they fall from the world
and pass down to hell.
Look now
the seagulls are flying
backwards signifying
a distinct lack of
Meanwhile nip
eating plastic with her face
eating face with her plastic
and ignoring the sea
(hence seagulls flying backwards,
chewing words etc.)

Thursday, 1 January 2015


Fuck ting a ling
Fuck ting a ling
everybody everybody
fuck ting a ling.
a new one has
a new one begun
fuck fuck fuck
good luck
in your filthy